Socrates argued that in order to be wise, one must know oneself. Calvin argued that one couldn't truly know God without knowing oneself and wouldn't, couldn't truly know oneself without knowing God. I think your self-evaluation/examination is healthy and allows you to paint in a manner that lets others see your heart. When people see your heart in your work, they are drawn to it. When you share your heart for painting and your self knowledge, in your writings, you help others that might be struggling to find their heart/voice. Great, insightful piece.